Ed Ahrens, Jr., Esq. writes monthly thought provoking Editorials on mediation. These views are Ed's and do not necessarily reflect those of Florida Mediation Group.
There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip,
Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out
At every joint and motive of her body.--William Shakespeare (1564–1616)
Ulysses, in Troilus and Cressida,
act 4, sc. 5, l. 55-7.Earlier in this series of essays (The Eyes Have It! in October '98 and Watch the Bod! in April '01) I touched on the many aspects of body movements and gestures and how they are or can be perceived by the other guy. For purposes of the message, I presupposed the observee was not conscious of such actions and was controlled more by physiological instinct.
Recently, I ran across an article (Enhancing Credibility Through Body Language by Noelle Nelson in The Practical Lawyer, Vol.40-No.5) I had saved and then—as I often am wont to do—had forgotten that reflects instead the brain pattern of the speaker and what he or she should be thinking about in order to enhance his/her credibility. A psychologist, Ms. Nelson's focus is on a trial attorney's communications with a jury, but the concepts apply to any forum that involves interaction with others where persuasion and decision-making are the order of the day. Clearly, this includes a mediation proceeding.
If you do not believe body language can make a difference, think about the last time you watched a television newscaster, usually a local neophyte, using his hands, arms or face in an awkward and/or inappropriate manner. It was distracting and jerked you away from the news flash. “A fire is raging in a local subdivision.” Yeah, yeah, but what's with that open hand chopping up and down!
When your body language doesn't jibe with what you're saying, the listener, according to Ms. Nelson, will almost always opt for belief in the former. Don't worry about Big Brother watching you; worry about that listener observing everything you DO and how you APPEAR.
Seemingly minor activities can produce negative impressions. Scrounging around, searching for a document in your file suggests to your listener that you're not organized or prepared—and your credibility heads south. (I've had occasions when the attorney brought in the wrong file or even forgot his file.) Similarly, “good posture,” as Ms. Nelson states, “symbolizes strength and resilience in the face of adversity.” Probably a bit overblown for the informal surroundings of a mediation, but perhaps only as a matter of degree. Slouch in your chair and you project both laziness and indifference.
It's important, also, to look pretty. Well, at least clean and well groomed. A sloppy appearance gives off all manners of negative signals about your credibility. Jewelry and other accessories can be overdone or inappropriate. (As a very young, naïve attorney carrying the senior trial attorney's briefcase, I vividly recall his yanking me back from the courtroom door and telling me to get rid of the pocket watch chain draped with all its corporate imagery across the front of my vest!)
Gaze—don't stare—into your listener's eyes as you speak. A direct and steady eye focus avoids the appearance of deception or insincerity caused by wandering orbs. In fact, it's also good advice when you're a listener, to demonstrate your interest in what the speaker is saying.
In the mediation arena, if you're credible in the eyes of the mediator, opposing counsel, claimant, defendant, and, indeed, your own client, you've taken a major step toward instilling in them confidence in you and in what you have to say. As Ms. Nelson says: “With the right nonverbal cues, you can drive home the verbal message.”
Body language can be a second language, and the last thing you need is for it to become the first language with all your glowing oratory heading for the trash heap of disinterest and inattention.
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